We’re teaching our kids to be consumers at an early age. Look at the number of superhero and product endorsement Valentines on the store shelves.

We, as parents, are sucked in by the media to believe that we need the latest, greatest gadget or fad for our kids.

Share your love by giving of your time, not your pocketbook. What can you give your kids instead?

Here are 10 simple suggestions:

1. Slip a handmade valentine or a simple note into your child’s lunch box.

2. Take a walk together in the woods or your favorite park.

3. Jot down a line from your favorite poem. Share it with family members.

4. Kiss your kids goodnight.

5. Read a chapter book together.

6. Have family dinnertime together.

7. Turn off the TV. Have a pizza night and rent and watch a movie together.

8. Have a picnic in the park after the soccer game instead of stopping for a fast meal on the way home.

9. Have each family member write down one reason why they appreciate every other family member. Write your reasons on a tag and use ribbon to attach them to a batch of your favorite cookies. Let every family member find his own special cookies.

10. Help your kids write a letter to a family member who lives far away. Write the first few lines of a story and instruct the recipient to write the next, and then return the letter. Your story can continue indefinitely.

About the Authors Janell Oakes and Rondi Davis are co-authors of the award winning book, Together: Creating Family Traditions. They want to give you the most important gift you can give your family. You can be a part of an irresistible offer available for one day only.
http://www.TogetherCreatingFamilyTraditions.com

They’ve asked several of their friends to join in making available hundreds of dollars of complimentary gifts as a special present to you.
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We don’t want you to miss out on this amazing 24 hour offer.

Tags: love, parenting, relationships, teaching love

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Sometimes the finest solutions are the simplest. Focusing on relationships when making cold calls is one of them. It keeps us genuine, and eliminates our dread of making cold calls. We’re real people talking about real things. We’re interested in the conversation, and it shows.

Most of us dislike putting on our “salesperson persona” when we make cold calls. We think it’s needed, however, because we’ve been trained to make the sale. And yet we’re interacting with a live, breathing person without having any real connection to him or her. It often feels fake, and it often is.

This artificial role puts a great stress on us, and sabotages our cold calling conversations. When we aren’t genuine, it’s a red flag to the other person that we have a sales agenda. This puts nearly everyone “on guard.” They’ve never met us and are wary of possibly being manipulated.

Have you ever noticed that most cold calls break down the moment we try to “move” things along towards a sale? It’s as if we’re getting ready for battle, and the tension pushes us along.

But the person we’ve called doesn’t know us. The momentum we’re trying to impose puts him or her in a defensive position. They’re protecting themselves from a potential “intruder” who might have a self-serving agenda.

So how can we to shift into something more positive? We begin by focusing on the relationship rather than salesmanship. We call with the anticipation of meeting someone new, and looking forward to a pleasant conversation to find out whether we can be of service. This mindset is subtle but powerfully felt by the other person.

Building relationships humanize our cold calling conversations — and ourselves. We are less artificial. Cold calling conversations become more natural. And people tend to respond with more warmth and interest.

The point is not to use the “technique of building relationship” to improve sales. That’s having a hidden agenda rather than a relationship. Our goal is to see if we can provide something that will benefit the other person. If it doesn’t, then we prefer not to continue interrupting their day. That’s a real relationship, even if brief.

When we’re being real people treating others as real people, the difference is amazing. Both people are both more at ease. We anticipate talking with someone who may possibly have an interest in what we have to offer. And if they don’t, we’ve enjoyed our time with him or her.

When others feel this relaxed mindset from you, they are much more likely to welcome you into their day. But if you rigidly follow a script or launch into a mini-presentation, then your call is immediately pegged as something initiated primarily for your own gain. And that puts most people into resistance.

Here are 8 keys to building relationships in cold calling:

*Focus on the other person’s needs rather than on securing a sale
*Surrender to the outcome of your cold call so you can connect with your potential client at a human level
*View the human connection as an exciting journey in which you encounter new and interesting people
*Speak graciously and naturally as you would with any new acquaintance
*Remember it’s about how you come across, not about how many people you call
*Allow the conversation to evolve naturally
*Invite both of you to decide together whether it’s worth your time to pursue the conversation further
*Use phrases that are non-aggressive yet very effective

So try this. Practice shifting your mental focus from salesmanship into a place of relationship. You’ll find that your genuine enjoyment of the conversation rubs off on the other person. They’ll be less defensive and more likely to share with you truthfully.

One of the best ways to build relationship is by using phrases that carry the human element very well. Start out by asking, “Hi, could you help me out for a minute?” The most common response will be, “Sure. What do you need?”

Your next question might be to ask whether they are open to the idea of looking at different ways to, for example, reduce their expenses. Most of the time the reply will be something like, “Well, sure, what kinds of expenses are you talking about?”

Now you are able to open the conversation between the two of you and build an initial relationship. It’s easy and comfortable to continue from there.

When you do this, you’ll experience so much success and satisfaction that it will really change the way you do business. And it will bring sales success beyond your imagination

With a Masters Degree in Instructional Design and over a decade of experience creating breakthrough sales strategies for global companies such as UPS and QUALCOMM, Ari Galper discovered the missing link that people who sell have been seeking for years.

His profound discovery of shifting one’s mindset to a place of complete integrity, based on new words and phrases grounded in sincerity, has earned him distinction as the world’s leading authority on how to build trust in the world of selling.

Leading companies such as Gateway, Clear Channel Communications, Brother International and Fidelity National Mortgage have called on Ari to keep them on the leading edge of sales performance. Visit http://www.unlockthegame.com to get his free sales training lessons.

Tags: cold calling

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Clueless in Conversation-ville?

Are you really “with” people when you’re with them? Are you really hearing, seeing,
feeling, sensing, breathing them in? Or are you often bored, distracted, rushed, or
wishing you were somewhere else? Do you jump ahead in the conversation, saying
what you know they meant to say or strategize “fixes” for their concerns before
they have hardly left their lips? Do you find yourself sizing up their clothing choice,
or facial quirks, or figit with your pen or take in the activity in the room while they
are speaking?
No matter who I am with, I am often dreamily lost in thought: “if only theyspeak
up, shut up, be quick, be reasonable, or be honest. I spend a lot of time “wishing”
who I think the other person ought to be and what I want them to say - or not, and
only a small part of my brain or heart is really with them in the now. Sure, we’ve all
been accused of not being “with it” as they say; but often it has become a very bad
habit. Our lack of presence speaks volumes.

Is Your “Half-Heartedness” Showing?

When a person is getting only a portion of our attention, it sends a clear message
that they don’t matter terribly much. As a result, relationships subtly suffer and so
does productivity. Sure, we can “get by with it”, we all do it. And But what price are
we paying to have half of our consciousness half way around the world ? A lot of
misinformation and misinterpretation takes place. People are confused, hurt, and
angry, lost. They feel insignificant. They tend toward uncooperativeness, half-
hearted work, absenteeism, health issues, even undermining each other.
Relationships are strained and artificial or contentious. The loss to me personally is
something I rarely consider - lack of support, lack of intimacy, lack of integrity.

Is it that we don’t value each other enough to be attentive for just a minute, don’t’
realize the impact, or is it that we just don’t know how?

Practice the Presence

In his 1999 book Practicing the Presence of People. Mike Mason on the contrary,
encourages the reader to learn how to be present in– and to– the “presence” of
other people. This involves being willing to see others as they are, for who they are,
and be OK with that. Essentially, to practice the presence of others means paying
full and close attention to the people you are with. The surprising thing is how
rewarding and freeing it can be - on both sides.

When we are able to be present, we are warmly focused. We find ourselves
enjoying the other’s company, fascinated by their uniqueness, intrigued by their
mystery, and at the very least — or best — at peace with them. Practicing the
presence of people is an awareness, yes, but most of all, it is a choice and finally, an
art. As with any art or creative expression, the basis for great results is practice,
practice, practice!

Love the One You’re With

To be “with” someone or present to someone is a choice, but it is a dedicated choice
some might call a commitment. Could it be, that giving someone our full attention
is the essence of real love? Attentiveness is a listening with the heart and soul. It is
not something you give on occasion, it is a consistent way of being with other
people through thick and thin. There are steps to be learned, difficulties to be
overcome, insights to be implemented, benefits to be enjoyed. All of this involves
devotion and persistence. Mason compares the experience of being present to
other people to a contemplative way of praying. Why? Back in the 1600’s, a monk
named Brother Lawrence aptly coined the phrase “practicing the presence of God.”
Brother Lawrence learned the secret to being aware of and taking in the reality of
“God with us.” This led to his ability to be ever connected to this divine presence
with an added bonus that changed his life- contentment in everything.

When we connect to the presence of another, we are “engaged”. We are content to
‘love the one we are with” and not wsh we were somewhere else.
In engagement, we move from being spectators to being participants. In this role,
we are no longer intimidated or judgmental, nevermind distracted. We are fully
aware but not rest-less. We are in a state of active rest.

So, away with pre-occupation, away with busyness, business as usual, time-
consciousness, driven-ness, thinking ahead, fixing, solving, sweating the
discomfort of others. Let’s practice being fully focused, fully present to the next
person we converse with. It’s a awarenes It is choice. It’s an art. It is love.
Rewarding conversations not only make sense, they make cents. “Presence” is the
best kind of gift!

Tags: communication, love, presence, distraction, attention, listening, conversation, relationships

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